Have you ever felt tired or at a loss when interacting with people?
People who take the mount, people who push their opinions excessively... After dealing with such people, you will feel tired all the time.Furthermore, when I look back on it later, I regret things like, ``I should have said that,'' or ``I should have said that.''
Are there any tips for not getting tired when interacting with people?This time, I will introduce assertions.
Assertion refers to expressing one's feelings openly, while being considerate of the other person, even in situations where one feels uncomfortable or embarrassed.In English, assertion means "claim," but in an assertive relationship, it's not just about trying to push your personal claims.
Let's take an example of an exchange between friends.One day, when the final exam for a certain subject was approaching, Mr. A from the same class asked me to lend him his notebook as he was having trouble without it.You were just planning to go home and study that subject.Now, how should you respond?
Depending on the response pattern shown below, the subsequent situations for you and the other person will differ greatly.
non-assertive case
I suppress my anxiety that my study plan is about to be ruined, sympathize with Mr. A's troubles, and say things like, ``I don't care if the handwriting is bad.''
Mr. A, of course, says, ``That's fine,'' so he ends up lending it to me.
➡You spend the day vaguely regretting that you won't be able to study for the exam.
if aggressive
With a clearly displeased look on his face, he says, ``Isn't it common sense to borrow a notebook at this time? What have you been doing up until now? I don't lend notebooks to people like that, right?'' and leaves the place. .
Later, you realize that you insulted Mr. A, and the guilt makes you unable to study for the exam. Mr. A also feels pathetic.
➡After that, the relationship between the two becomes awkward.
Assertive case
``I'm about to go home and study that subject, so I can't lend it to you this time.Next time, if you let me know a little earlier, I think I can lend it to you,'' she said politely, but... Make it clear that you cannot respond to their request.
➡You are satisfied that you were able to convey your wishes without forcing yourself. Mr. A understands what you say and realizes his own carelessness.
Assertiveness refers to self-expression that values both yourself and others.They try to stand up for their own human rights, while at the same time respecting the freedom and human rights of others.
Reference: Noriko Hiraki (2021) XNUMXrd edition Assertion Training: For refreshing self-expression Japan Institute of Mental Technology
